|Reasons To Live| {h a k u}

[Kotone Ashito]

She was only sixteen and yet she had experienced much more than most people her age would have by now. Her mother was dead, her father hated her. Despite attempts to stay off the radar, she always managed to become a target for the Akatsuki. Add a part time job and a four-year-old kid and what do you get? One hell of a mess. She tries not to show it but the stress just keeps building, the dam of emotions is about to burst, could you really blame her for this? This, her only release of all the pent up hurt that festered in her heart and soul.
A hiss of pain escaped her lips as she allowed the cold steel to graze her skin, leaving a thin thread of crimson to trail across her pale skin. A few drops of the red liquid dripped from her newly found wound to stain the ground below her. Sighing, she folded her knife and slid it back into her pocket, not bothering to do a thing about her wrist. Hey, she hadn't cut a vein. It wasn't like she was going to bleed to death. Though, the longer she left it as it was the more it began tostand out against her pallid skin. Of all days to wear short sleeves, eh?[data]~OOC~ Fail post is fail. xP

[{ h a k u }]

Haku shifted a sleeve on his long pink kimono; no matter how warm it got or how much it made him look like a girl, he insisted on wearing it. The material was comfortable, and whilst not always the most practical, it was his favorite piece of clothing. As he meandered into the park, he yawned, wondering what had possessed him to make him come to the park. Sure, it was a... nice place, the feminine boy supposed, but it was nothing special. He didn't like the park very much, except for when he got to see the birds.

Noticing a girl sitting by a tree, he ambled on over, figuring that a friendly conversation would be nice. He still wasn't too big on the "friends" thing, but he was working on it. "Hello there- what are you doing?!" Haku's eyes widened. "Oh my, you're bleeding.. Are you alright?" He knelt down, concerned. Something was going on here; he might not have been an investigator, but he was going to get to the bottom of this.

[Kotone Ashito]

A slight wince came across the -currently- pink haired girl's face as a voice intruded on her peaceful brooding silence. Without even turning her head she shifted her acidic gaze to glance at the figure who had disturbed her solitude. Whether it was male or female she couldn't really tell, nor did she really care. At the moment, people were people and nothing more.
"..." She made not a sound as the newcomer made a fuss about her wrist. Should have known better than to do this in a public place she thought to herself, exasperated. She had forgotten how drastically people reacted to cutters. "... I'm fine..." She finally responded, though her voice was barely anything more than a whisper. She wasn't that effected by it, she just didn't feel like wasting the energy.

[{ h a k u }]

"You don't seem like you are fine, but..." Haku trailed off, confused. She was bleeding, and it didn't bother her at all... what... what was up with that? "I could at least bandage it for you, if you would like." Friends helped each other when they were hurt, to his understanding. What better way to gain a friend then to help them out when they were, to put it oh so eloquently, bleeding all over the grass?

"Oh, and my name is Haku. What's yours?" he inquired, tilting his head once again to the side. It seemed to be a peculiar quirk of his that he'd... just never noticed before. "And, before you ask, I am in fact a male."

[Kotone Ashito]

I'm fine just go away. She mentally berated the -apparently- guy. She sighed and shook her head. He's just trying to be nice.. No need to bite his head off. Normally she'd be a little on edge about a guy being this close, but if he looked that much like a girl, and he was wearing a fucking pink kimono, it was most likely that he was gay, and she had nothing to worry about. Turning her head to look at him a little better she said, "I'm fine, really. You... You don't need to worry about me." I'm nothing, I'm worthless, I'm a nobody, nothing worth fretting over. Those thoughts were nothing new. She had to think them at least twenty times a day. That didn't make them hurt any less. Tears, yet again, stung the corners of her eyes. Blinking rapidly, she looked away and tried to dispel the bothersome drops of salt water. Deciding it would be best to get out of here before she lost it in front of a total stranger, Kotone pushed herself off the ground, only to have her bloody knife fall out of her pocket. Wonderful. Just fucking wonderful.

[{ h a k u }]

"But I want to worry about you." Haku replied calmly, though really he had no idea what he was trying to do. "I'd rather not see you injured, even though I don't really know you... I still care, miss." He frowned, watching her closely like Zabuza-sama had taught him, so he could see if she really was fine, like she claimed to be. The boy didn't have the people skills to tell without studying her like a specimen under a microscope, sadly; but how could he obtain those people skills if everyone he met didn't seem to be interested in being his friend.

"Please don't leave! Zabuza... he isn't expecting me back for several hours, and I do not wish to be left alone..." he pleaded as she stood. "Oh... what's this?" He picked up the knife she had dropped, knowing know what had caused her injury. Without another word, he stood up and handed it to her; he wasn't stupid enough to press the issue any more, and drive her away completely. Maybe, if he was careful, he would gain a friend.

[Kotone Ashito]

A sick smile played at her lips. Cared? About her? Bullshit. No one gave a good God DAMN about her. Never did. None the less she stopped. Why, she couldn't even begin to comprehend. Maybe, deep down, she wanted to believe him. As much as she denied it, a friend was something she always wanted. She was like a lost puppy, all she needed was someone who really cared. Something inside her was begging her not to leave, to stay here and allow someone to befriend her.
Turning back around, she took hold of her knife from Haku's outstretched hand and slipped it back into her pocket. After several long moments of silence, she glanced at the dark haired femme boy. "Why?" was all she said. Why do you care?

[{ h a k u }]

"Why?" He supposed he didn't really know. Why did he care... he didn't know anything about her, except that she had issues. "Because... I think you're lonely too." he responded at last, after a seemingly endless moment where he couldn't speak. "Because I need a friend, and you do too. Because... I don't know who you are, but I want to." Well. He'd come up with more reasons than he had anticipated he could. Hopefully they would be enough to convince her. "I've never had a person to truly care for.. Except Zabuza. Until I met him, I was all alone... All I wanted was a place to belong.. I didn't know I had one in his heart. And that feeling of not being alone anymore... I want you to know it too."

[Kotone Ashito]

Well this was unexpected. Granted, she wasn't sure exactly WHAT to expect, but she never would have considered the fact that maybe someone else felt some of the same pain she had. Knowing that... And knowing that he gave a damn, brought her close to tears, in the good way. It made her feel less alone. She smiled again, this time a real smile. Not the sick and mocking contortion of lips that dare even consider itself a kind of smile from before. A true, genuine smile. "... Thanks... For that..." She said in a hoarse whisper, " And my name... Is Kotone Ashito."

[{ h a k u }]

"Well, Kotone... it is a pleasure to meet you." This brought a small smile to Haku's face. Even though he had no people skills, he had still managed to convince her not to leave him... and though the speech had been uncomfortable, it had definitely been worth it. He took another step towards her, and- with the hideous luck he had- tripped over his own feet. Hopefully, he wouldn't land right on top of her; it wasn't like he weighed enough to really hurt her or anything, but falling on top of people wasn't exactly the best way to show that he cared. In fact, it was rather counterproductive.

[Kotone Ashito]

Despite the happiness she was feeling, her pain started to grow slightly. And with that pain, came nightmarish memories. One in particular stood out among all the rest...

"No! Please!"
"Easy, easy! Quiet down, we don't want anyone walking in on us now, sweetie."
"Please! Just let me go! I-I promise I wont tell! I want to go home..."

Her body went stiff, and her breathing became ridged. That... That sick monster who had taken her precious innocence so long ago... Even though he was long gone by now he still haunted her to this day. Her physical being was fine, still sixteen, still in the park, still about to collide with the boy she'd just met, but mentally, she was far away. She was twelve again, still in that dark, ill-kept place, with a real boogyman hovering above her, eying her hungrily.
She fell back when Haku landed on her. But she didn't see him as the harmless cross-dresser. And, reacting purely on reflex and a bit of shell-shock, she swung out her arm in attempts to defend herself from the monster. "GET AWAY!" She cried through teary eyes.

[{ h a k u }]

Well, that was certainly counterproductive.

Haku had no idea what caused the girl's reaction, but he did as he was told and quickly scurried away. Safely hidden behind a tree, he peeked out, watching Kotone with curiosity-filled eyes. He only wanted to approach her and ask what was wrong... but he had an instinct for self-preservation, and that was warning him off approaching her until she was calm.

[Kotone Ashito]

The weight was gone. The weight was gone. That was all she was one-hundred percent aware and sure of; the weight that had been pressed against her was gone. After a few seconds she found that she could freely move her body-- Which is exactly what she did. Eager to get away from the monster her eyes beheld, Kotone rolled over on to her stomach then crawled over to the tree she'd been standing in front of, and huddled herself against it. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, taking in deep shaky breaths and trying not to cry. Why? Why did he always come back? Why did he torment her endlessly? Her sanity was beginning to ebb away...
Slowly she became aware of her surroundings again, and as such began to calm down. Her breathing steadied, and the tears stopped threatening to fall. Soon the image of the monster was gone, and all she saw were trees, grass, and the boy in the dress. Everything was alright... At least, she hoped it was.

[{ h a k u }]

He peered out from behind his safety tree again, staring at Kotone. "Are... are you okay?" he called out, though he wasn't sure if he'd spoken loud enough for her to hear him at all. Haku didn't mean any harm... but did she know that? Would she try to hurt him if he walked over to her?

He'd rather not find out.

[Kotone Ashito]

The voice was scarcely audible, at least to her ears. She almost didn't hear him past the thudding of her heart which pounded heavily in her chest and resounded all the way to her eardrums, but she did nonetheless. She was coming back to reality, albeit slowly. The tight grip she had on her knees slackened until her hands slipped from her legs and fell to her sides. She was shaking. She hadn't noticed this until just now, but her entire body was shaking. It wasn't exactly violent shivering, but it sure as hell wasn't soft and unnoticeable.
He had asked if she were okay. A rather stupid question, in her opinion. Anyone could see that she was most obviously not, in fact, all right. She had considered answering back with a snappy answer. Something along the lines of "Oh, just peachy." or "My life is an infinite ray of sunshine and rainbows.", but she thought better of it. After all, he was probably just trying to be nice... That, She thought, Is eventually going to be the end of him.
"Barely..." She called back to him, hoping her voice didn't crack too much for her to be understood.

[{ h a k u }]

Okay, well, at least she probably wasn't going to act violently towards him, so he felt safe approaching her. Slowly, of course, and with caution in his eyes. Haku knelt down next to her, head bowed. "I am sorry for falling on you, Kotone-san. Is there something wrong?" he murmured quietly.

[Kotone Ashito]

Kotone's entire body felt like lead. The adrenaline rush had left her feeling so exhausted she could barely move. To make matters worse she found she was starting to have to fight to remain conscious. Not good.
Haku's shame-filled voice riddled her with guilt. He hadn't done anything, after all. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Poor little cross-dresser. The girl with bright pink hair labored to speak. "Don't... Don't be. It was an accident..." She sighed and shook her head, trying to catch her breath so she could speak a little more clearly. "Yes, you could say that. But it has nothing to do with you, or anything else that's happened... Today."

~OOC~ Fail post is fail.